NLP. Master your thoughts and the rest will follow.
I’m reading a book at the moment called ‘Change Your Life with NLP’ by Lindsey Agness, as NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) was one of the pathways that I thought initially might be a good way forward in my therapy journey.
So far I am loving its positivity and am finding this in so many of the techniques that I’m immersing myself in. The philosophy is very goal-oriented and asserts that changing your programming by having control of your thoughts and therefore your behaviour leads to success in achieving those goals. Another important facet of NLP is the need to know yourself and to work with what you’ve got.
“For most people things happen and they react. NLP offers a better way. It gives you tools to reach differently by choice, to be more aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviour.” It brings together awareness of what we think, coupled with what we say, in order to achieve desired outcomes in what is it we do – our programming.
Too often, we make assumptions and judgments that keep us in our unhappy ruts, because these beliefs come from generalisations that are simply not true. These generalisations come from those who influenced us in early life, or from other conditioned responses. Our senses, the very means by which we perceive reality, are not objective by any means. Reality is processed by filters which delete, distort and generalise every bit of data they receive.
Understanding that it’s our thoughts which determine our view of our lives seems very obvious but is worth pointing out. We literally make our own reality. I look back and think of all the times I blamed someone else, or circumstances beyond my control, for my own bad behaviour or depressed feelings. I paid lip service to the idea that only you can change your lot in life, but really I think I was hoping for a miracle cure. I was hoping that I’d just grow up one day and everything would be dandy. Either that or feel comforted by the misery that I was wallowing in. Never again.
One very good tip I read about with regard to achieving goals is that when you set a goal, have a very specific internal representation of it with pictures, sounds, tastes, smells and sensations etc in your conscious mind. The subconscious latches on to these sensations as if they are real, helping you to achieve your goal. The mind cannot process a negative. Tell a person not to think of a blue house and what do they think of? If you focus on the wrong thing, you will get the wrong thing. It’s the law of attraction all over again.
When you think of what you don’t want and you focus on it intently, your reticular activating system – part of the unconscious mind – will give you exactly what you want every time. When you focus on something, no matter what it happens to be, you are really calling it into existence. Focussing on anger, depression, negativity, emotional pain etc brings it sharply to the fore. Now I am finally in a peaceful situation, relatively free of that baggage in my day to day life, I choose to surround myself with positive thoughts and energy.
I was thinking a lot about what my GP said yesterday. You have no control over your desired outcomes. Only the way that you act. “If we could effect outcomes, we would be gods!” He also said that when you hurt someone, you impinge on their right not to be hurt. And also he said that it’s not an excuse to say “he’s just an angry person” or “she’s aggressive by nature”. We have control of our thoughts, and by implication, the way that we act. A lot of people might not realise this until it’s spelt out. I certainly didn’t. It is freeing when you realise for the first time that you are not a slave to your thoughts.
From the NLP book: “Nothing has any power over you other than that which you give it through your daily thoughts.”