Life coaching and CBT counselling. Live life, be free.

by therapyjourney

Straight after my EFT session with C yesterday, I had a session with D, my current CBT counsellor. As I feel better about myself, I wonder, perhaps prematurely, whether this approach is for me. I feel as if I am moving further away from the talking therapies especially when they are pretty low level which is what I am finding with her approach.

A good practitioner, of any discipline not only within the health arena, must put the client at ease, explain what it is they are doing, and guide them through the uncharted terrain with perception, confidence and compassion. I can’t help feeling as if these traits are lacking from D’s approach in my opinion. I wouldn’t normally mention something like this as it hardly seems relevant, but I must trust my instincts more. Truth be told I am looking to have quite high level insights as I have already spent a lot of my life self-analysing, admittedly sometimes erroneously, but nevertheless I am comfortable talking about myself, my feelings, my flaws and problems. I don’t want to be met with bemused waffling when I have just said something that needs a considered and intelligent response.

Her offering to me on this occasion (which encompassed a life coaching assessment plus a counselling session afterwards), was to ask me a series of questions which came from an EU quality of life assessment, which was fine, but I could tell she didn’t believe in what she was doing and kept apologising for the questions and missing lots out. In fact, my answers surprised me. No I don’t have any current negative thoughts, I am fully mobile, my work is not stressful, my health is good and I am following a new eating regime, I sleep soundly and have no trouble dropping off or waking up in the morning, my relationship is flourishing and I am spending lots of time and energy on personal development. The only thing I miss is having time for social activities with friends, but that balance will be redressed as this thing moves on and settles into a routine. All in all, I couldn’t really be happier.

So what do I need coaching on? One thing I am missing is my lack of goals. Reading about NLP it’s clear that goals are what will change your life. The changes that happen with one’s thoughts and behaviour come largely from the drive to succeed at some specific thing. However I struggle to think of anything that I really want from my life, except general goals like happiness, prosperity, good health, and for my loving relationship to grow and develop into a big, happy family.

D sketched out a very loose plan to utilise unspecified mind techniques to “strengthen neural pathways, create my own world and have others understand and accept me”. She mentioned developing coping mechanisms and inner strength and chakras (which I am intrigued by and know nothing about). That was about all I took away from the life coaching assessment.

I have an exercise to do this week, which is to record my inner voice and report back to her as to what it is saying. I should relax, take a deep breath, make the ‘om’ meditation sound, and just listen and connect with that stream of consciousness once all the external thoughts are filtered out. I’m not sure I understand this at all. I think of my inner thoughts being invasive ones, like the mad person you see on the street who kind of makes sense when you stop and listen, but their connections are arbitrary, bizarre and stupid. Mad people are normally ones with an excess of intelligence. I remember a mad Indian woman who used to walk up and down a street near where I worked, ranting and talking to herself and other people, completely unaware of herself. She was a university professor of extremely high standing.

I’m not left with the most positive of feelings about the CBT thus far with D but I will do the exercises and have at least one more life coaching session and one more counselling session in a couple of weeks’ time (the next time I am free) so we shall see what it brings. Doubt and negativity are so unwelcome at the moment, so I just don’t know. Live life, be free.