Self-acceptance = confidence = effective communication.
My third session of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) was the most rewarding, refreshing and useful one I have had so far. In a departure from previous sessions, I learned how to tap myself rather than having the practitioner, C, do it on me. I’m only going to have another two more sessions, so it’s important to me that I gain familiarity with the technique.
C says I seemed calmer and more centred the last two times she’s seen me. I am glad she has noticed this, as I really feel it within myself. What I brought to the session was different to previous sessions in which I tried to address ongoing conflict and anger/ anxiety issues. This time it was my communication issues that I wanted addressing. My issues surrounding communication are that I have difficulty expressing myself clearly, and I have a fear of saying the wrong thing and of not being heard. I express myself clumsily and then withdraw from communication completely. It can be paralysing. It’s not just with large groups of strangers – it can be with my closest friends and my boyfriend. What C said made a lot of sense: in the past we experience a way of being that perhaps involves hurt and the sense of closing down. This repeats and we look for it so it is affirmed by the outside world.
What I am seeking is to express myself authentically in a manner that gets me heard. Being heard is not about having the loudest voice at all, simply one that is true to myself. All of this comes back to confidence. And what is confidence, except an expression of self-acceptance?
C would like to give me a tool which I can use to come back to my centre and leave behind the negative mind chat. I am not allowing my own light to shine, she said, and all that love and fun is just being squashed. I am glad she can see the love and fun in me. A sort of exercise she gave me was to let go of fear of being judged and to observe how people are with me. How does the communication go? To help communicate better she advised giving each interaction my full attention from the inside out. I thought I already did this but there is always capacity for more mindful and effective communication.
Some of the affirmations that I repeated after C:
I am going to try and stick with EFT and perhaps find out more about it as I go along. At the moment the main focus of my research is mindfulness, so I’m taking the time to digest that before really giving my full attention to peripheral remedies such as EFT. I’m also now on a path where I have I think found the right talking therapist and that takes a huge amount of energy to think clearly about, and get the right result.