A happy story from another planet.
It’s been about two weeks now since I started taking Seroxat. I live in Spain where it is called Paroxetina Cinfa and each day I take 10mg. We buy it over the counter here without prescription. My boyfriend J and I started the self-medicating process with 4mg per day and he still takes only 5mg. I have been upping mine a little every few days because I cannot perceive an effect, but I know it must be taking the edge off.
I had been warned about possible side effects including a metallic taste in the mouth and the flavours in food being altered, dry throat and the need to drink a lot more water, rushes, face ache because of too much smiling and feeling depressed even suicidal for the first few days or weeks.
Fortunately for me I have had none of these side effects. I haven’t strongly perceived positive effects like euphoria, I am not gurning my face off like I’m on E or anything like that – but being on Seroxat has certainly has kept a lid on my depression, panic and fear. I just feel more able to deal with my life now.
I am a lot less sensitive now too. It’s as if I am able to see the bigger picture at long last instead of getting bogged down with every last little detail. I can laugh things off easier, things that would have wounded deeply before.
I am laughing much more these days. Last night I let off an incredibly bad-smelling emission from my rear end, and my boyfriend said some funny things as he was so appalled, called me a foul-bottomed woman and made me stand outside. I laughed so hard even while I was on my own outside, I was bent double unable to stop the chortles and belly laughs.
OK so maybe this kind of thing is attributable to slight euphoria from being on the tabs – I’m incredibly stubborn after all and always refused to notice any effect even from alcohol and coffee! 10mg of Seroxat must be doing something, especially for me, someone whose system is not used to any kind of psychotropic medication.
In myself I am lighter and I’m far from being on the edge of tears. In the relationship, we have crashed a couple of times – this is when we hit a brick wall usually caused by oversensitivity or poor communication, but have got over it relatively quickly and generally nipped it in the bud. This is to be expected when we spend almost all of our time together, neither of us working, speaking the language or having other close friends. In fact we do very well to make efforts to get along so well despite our recent pitfalls, and I mustn’t forget to congratulate myself for that. Kudos!
I am considering upping my dose to 15mg very soon, as while things feel good right now, I know they can be just that little bit better. I would like life to be dreamier, not forever, just to feel what it’s like.
I take zero other mind-altering substances – no alcohol, no drugs. I would like Seroxat to be my little personal pleasure. I would like it to continue transporting me to ever-more exotic and special places.